Monday, June 23, 2014
You were at The Huddle last night around midnight. I had had a long day and was having a few drinks with friends before starting the week anew. On my way out the door you yelled (literally, yelled), "HEY! ZOOEY DESCHANEL'S COUSIN! LET ME TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER - WE CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT!" As I turned around full of curiosity and bewilderment, you then added as a last ditch effort: "...YOU CAN ORDER WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!" I don't know if it was the sheer shock of wondering how in the world you knew I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with eating unsexy amounts of food as often as humanly possible, or how you knew how much I love being compared to an attractive yet extremely annoying celebrity solely based on the fact that I too have bangs, but I panicked. Instead of running to you with open arms and my open calendar, I rolled my eyes and continued to my car. I hadn't even eaten dinner. I have since realized my mistake and that you are probably my soulmate. I was also not wearing my glasses (which was quite unfortunate, given the circumstances), but I'm sure if I had been I would have immediately taken off all my clothing and offered myself to you. I have no idea how you obtained and honed such impeccable flirting skills, but when are we going to dinner? I have been working on a list of what I want to order since last night.