Friday, February 18, 2011

Top 5 Types of Shitty Friends

Let's face it:  Not all friends are good friends. 

The older I get I realize that there are only a handful of people that I am really close to.  I know some people prefer to be a psuedo-friend to a large number of people, but that's just not for me.  I would rather give all of myself to a small group and in return have a smaller number of really great friends.  Sure there are a lot of others along the way, and they all serve their purpose,  but then there are a lot of those people who just...

...suck.

So here is my list of the Top 5 Types of Shitty Friends...in my experience of course.

5. The Faux Friend

This is the friend that you will never get close to.  It's impossible.  Perhaps they are incapable of forming a relationship that's deeper than the surface.  The kind of person that you can almost see the words that you are speaking go in one ear and out the.  They are the red party cup of the friendship world:  Their presence means it's time to party.  And that's pretty much where it ends.

My Take:  You can try to make this relationship meaningful, but it will be to no avail.  Cut your losses, or just enjoy them for the facade they are.  Cause it's party time.


4. The Shit-Talker

This one's pretty obvious.  This is the friend that is super cool to your face, but then talks mad shit as soon as you turn your back.  You can even call them out on it or catch them doing it, but they have a way of turning it around to prove their "innocence."  Or maybe just one day they decide you're not friends anymore and start treating you badly, unbeknownst to you.  Regardless, it's lame.  And they're not real friends.

My Take:  Make up your mind. 

Either be a good friend, or be a bad friend.  Because honestly, I don't have time for your bullshit.  And I have people in my life who are more deserving and capable of a reciprocal friendship.

3. The Complaining Friend

This is the friend that never has anything positive to say.  Ever.  Their life is always in turmoil and they are always about to throw themselves off a cliff.  You can talk them down, but you know tomorrow they'll be right back in Dramaland.  Friends are there for a reason.  And as a female, sometimes bitching and moaning to your female friends is very necessary.  BUT, there is a time and a place.  Oh...and this friend probably only talks about himself/herself. 

My Take:   You will drain the life force from your friends if you are this person all of the time.  Avoid (consistently) becoming this friend at all cost! 

2. The Loch Ness Friend

This is the friend that surfaces only when they are single.  It's like a Loch Ness Monster sighting...very rare.  Also predictable.  When they are happily in a relationship, you will pretty much never hear from them.  Ever.  You might try to hang out with them every once in a while, but it will almost always fail.  And if you do finally track them down for long enough to go get coffee, they will probably be texting their significant other the whole time.

My Take:  Relationships happen!  Naturally, you grow closer to your significant other and spend less time with your friends.  Totally normal.  What's not normal is disappearing for stretches of time (conveniently the times when you're dating someone) and then popping back up when you're single.

It is very easy to avoid becoming this type of shitty friend.  If you are in a relationship, all you have to do is keep in contact with your friends!  A phone call, a text even.  Try to make it a point to see your friends sometimes.  Because your friends know that when your relationship comes crashing down, they will be the ones picking up the pieces.  And if you've been completely MIA for the past year, that's totally lame.

1. The Flaky Friend

There is nothing I hate more than someone who constantly flakes.  Pretty much all of my friends know this about me already and if they have to flake, it's usually attached to an, "I'm sorry to flake!"  And I know, life happens, and sometimes you just need to flake.  But if flaking is a habit, then you're probably not someone I want in my life. 

My Take:  Well really, my take is don't flake.  If you say you're going to be somewhere, be there.  However, life happens.  I am aware of this.  So if you flake, at least acknowledge/apologize that you are flaking and make sure you don't flake for the rescheduling of said plans.

In Conclusion:

I swear I'm not a bitch, I'm just being honest.  I will admit I'm not completely innocent of all of these, but I'm usually pretty aware when I am doing one of these things and I try (and will continue to try) my best to remedy that immediately.

I am happy to say I am extremely blessed to have the people in my life that I do.  I've got some really great friends with really great hearts, and I wouldn't change that for the world. 

<-----"Let's be friends!"

27 comments:

  1. What about the "I never have any cash" friend? But she still wants to constantly go out and do things with you. I'm sure everyone has a super sweet friend like I do. (Actually, I'm lucky enough that this great friend is pretty much all 5 of the above rolled into one package, and then to top off it: you add in that she constantly "forgets" her wallet or her ATM/debit card).
    Love her..

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    1. Yep I have that friend. She spends all her money on hair extensions and then says she has no money for a drink or whatever. Of course I buy it, but when it's the rare occasion that I'm short of change, she conveniently doesn't have enough to shout me.

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    2. Oh, I do have all sorts of 'friends' like that...
      And it usually has me inviting everyone everywhere and they're all like 'I have no money, no money, no money' and soon after that they just pop up all happy with 'I'm going there' or 'I'm doing that' and i'm nowhere in those plans...
      Quite a downer isn't it...

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    3. This is not a friend sorry to say

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    4. How about the friend that's always too broke to go have dinner/drinks with you, so of course you spot them, only to find out from someone else that they just booked a 7-night vacation with their "other" friends.

      Delete
  2. Very funny blog post. Me likey.

    And like even better knowing you're actually an OC chic like yours truly.

    Keep bloggin' -- it's good.


    Louise on the left
    http://louiselarsen.blogspot.com/

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  3. i really enjoyed this....i have a very high maintenance friend who Ive always made an effort to keep in touch with ..but I dont get the same in return. Shes also the type who can dish out alot of antoginist behaviors...but at most mildest of slights (which she is very deserving of) she goes apeshit and shell never talk to you again. I dont know why I bother with this person ? She deserves a beating to be honest.

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  4. I have the complaining friend. She has very low self esteem and she knows I'm the only friend who will listen and I let her use me. She will actually organize a time and a place for us to sit down so she can tell me her problems, with or without my agreement of course. One time I told her something I was dealing with and she judged me about it. Did I mention she preaches to everybody else how to be themselves and be happy. Pfft.

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  5. I have near all these types of friends and it sickens me

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  6. All my friends are flakes every one of them.

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  7. im a shitty friend...

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  8. I have a Loch Ness friend and it pisses me off.

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  9. What about friend's who never wanna hang out? Even when they're not in a relationship, they just wanna sit inside, rot, and die. All of my friends are like that. Fucking fuck cock sucker fucking fuck. I haven't done anything this summer - because I don't have any fun friends.

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    Replies
    1. lmao all to familiar
      -c

      Delete
  10. i have a friend who literally texts me every day and gets pissed off when i dont want to hang out with him all day, every day. he is worse than a psycho bitchy girl. possessive as fuck. i went to hang with him last night and he just avoided conversations and looked down at his phone the whole time and decided that he was going to do laundry and dishes and clean his room the for two hours rather than sit and hang out with me. fucking douche bag was acting all mad for literally no reason, because i didnt want to hang out with his pathetic loser bullshit for one single day. he never has money, always wants to drink and smoke but NEVER has cash to help pay for himself. everybody thinks hes a jew and a mooch. FUCKING QUEERBAG ROT IN YOUR SHITTY APARTMENT SOBER BY YOURSELF YOU CHEAP JEW IM NOT BUYING YOU JACK SHIT ANYMORE YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF GOVERNMENT TAX PAYER DOLLARS. HOW ABOUT YOU GET OFF THE FOODSTAMPS AND GET A REAL FUCKING JOB AND GET OVER YOUR LITTLE HIGHSCHOOL BULLSHIT, YOU ARE A 30 YEAR OLD MAN WHO ACTS LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL. FUCKING MAN UP

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  11. I have a friend who has 3/5 traits. She's a silent friend, won't text unless you do. Won't share unless you do, even when you're going through a rough time/death in family, won't pick up the phone. All about HER!!!!!!!!! Ugh.

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  12. Don't forget the i need help so I'll be your friend right now type of friend and then disappear after.

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  13. I feel the older I get, the more I realise that 90% of friends are shit. Fake, worthless, unreliable shit. I'm happiest alone lately.

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  14. my childhood friend started one day to treating me badly...and now she don´t speak to me...and somehow I can´t be angry with her...because I love her and I miss her a lot...

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  15. Very helpful post. I have one friend who fits EVERY description on this list. I want to be the bigger person, but I also want to tell her the fuck off.

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  16. You could have just said, "All of them."
    Humans are fucking shitbags, the whole lot of them. People ARE the problem.

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  17. What's the saying about friends are like stars?! Its bullshit, its nice to know someone gives a fuck. Its shit when said friends priorities their time with better friends. Like I'm not worth spending time with.
    Then there is the friend who was my bridesmaid, and I was hers, or another who I was birth partner for. Where are they now? Have new men and have no contact.
    Got to be in it to win it with me!
    Miss them all tho, so who is the mug?!

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  18. You forgot the mangina friend. The one that throws you under the bus for pussy.

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    Replies
    1. all of my buds are like this and swear its weird that i dont understand it. its supose to be bros before hoes

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  19. i have the asshole friend, he blows up my phone when he needs something, but when i need him suddenly he's busy and makes lame excuses. oh yeah he'll hangout if there's something in it for him

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  20. A lot of my friends are people I've known since childhood, and just about all of them are losers. We're all in our early 30s. Some still live with their parents, some have been working on basic college degrees for nearly ten years, you name it.

    I have a career, a wife, a child, a home and property. The problem is that I love my old friends. I love hanging out with them, love the good times we used to have, but they are flakes. They've been flakes ever since we were kids. We make plans for them to come over, or for me to come over, and the day comes and NOTHING. No call, no text, no show. "Oh sorry something came up."

    The lame thing is that they do this to everyone, not just me. How can you treat all of your friends like that?

    My wife also has many friends like this. I honestly think it's our generation, and I seriously fear for the future. My generation is one full of irresponsible child-adults, who never follow through and cannot handle commitment.

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  21. It *should* be bros before hoes, but with my childhood friends, none of them would have a friend if it wasn't for me. i do the chasing and the organising and the fuckers stggmj that they can take it or leave it. apart from when their latest bloke is a twat.

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