Thursday, February 3, 2011

We Don't Need An Eleven

Prelude and Sidenote:  ***I don't actually think I'm fat, please don't send hate mail***

So, my doctor thinks I'm fat.

I will candidly disclose that I weigh about 120/125 most of the time.  (This comes in handy later.)  The most my weight ranges is from about 115 to 130, depending on time of the month, thyroid stuff (I do have a thyroid disorder, but it's been under control for the past 5 years, so nothing serious, don't worry), etc. 

Since I am 5 feet 6 inches tall, this makes me a fairly slim person.  I've always been comfortable with my weight and have thur far been blessed to be able to eat pretty much whatever I want and remain reasonably slim. 

Or at least I thought I was slim...

My complex began about a year ago when I made my bi-annual visit to my endocrinologist.  Thyroid disorders are known to mess with your weight.  If you are hyperactive (which I was), you are supposed to lose weight because everything in your body is working overtime.  If you are hypoactive (which I am now), you are supposed to gain weight because everything is slower.

I've been pretty lucky with that as well.  Until I weighed in at about 124 last summer which was apparently more than the previous visit.

"Is that because of the thyroid/medicine/whatever?"  I innocently and hopefully asked.

"No....that's because of diet and exercise..."  My doctor replied. 

Oops.  (Because I do literally none.  Of either.)

Him:  "Are you doing something different?"

Me:  "Umm...I drink beer now."

Him:  "You probably want to watch that."

Me:  "Ok."  :(

So that was no big deal.  Until my most recent visit late last month.

....I weighed in at 126.


My doctor looked over my numbers and said, " you're 126...which is a few pounds more than last time.  How tall are you?  5'6"? really want to keep it in the low 120's."

Me:  "Ok."  8:(

Obviously, as a woman I interpret that as, "My doctor thinks I'm fat."

All of this was just kind of stewing in the back of my mind until yesterday when I went into Diesel to do some shopping.  Let's just say this was the straw that mentally broke the camel's back.

First of all.  Let's discuss the fact that they actually sell size, "XXS."

This is not ok.  This should never be ok.  Even as a small girl, this immediately makes me feel fat.

Diesel, here is what your sizes are really saying to women.

Implied Truths Behind Sizes:

S:  I'm a size small, be stoked you can fit into me!  Woot!

XS:  I'm for the fairly skinny people who need something just a bit smaller than size small.  Also, you probably need small boobs to fit into this, and this might even be the reason you need this size.  (<----due to that last phrase, I will admit that this sometimes applies to me...sometimes.)

XXS:  I was invented to make women feel like shit about themselves.  No one can fit into me except really tiny Asian women.  And midgets.  And you'll never amount to anything.  You will probably never find love or happiness.  Don't even think about trying me on you liar.  You disgust me.

Maybe that last one was a tad bit dramatic, but you get my point.

It's like the Spinal Tap of women's clothing.  We don't need an eleven. 

Why don't we just adjust these sizes accordingly?  There is no need for an XXS.  If you can't fit into an XS, you go get that shit altered you skinny, skinny bitch.

That's my rant for the day.  And I have every intention of continuing to drink beer...for now at least.  Also, I should probably avoid Diesel.


  1. EXACTLY!!! And ewww... your doctor told you you were fat! Hahaha that sucks!

  2. Please continue drinking beer but definitely avoid Diesel - beer tastes a lot better....