Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Beer Theory

I have a theory.

It involves beer.

It is this:

Could the way in which you drink a beer dictate how committed you are in relationships??

Let's discuss.

The other evening I went out with some friends to the Stone Brewery for some drinks and general merriment.  My friend and her boyfriend were next to me, and everyone else was just kind of milling around.

To be perfectly honest, I'm kind of a boring beer drinker, myself.  I'm not super into all the craft beers.  Fat Tire is probably my favorite, followed by Japanese beers when I'm in the mood for something lighter.

However, my friends are a different story.  These are the friends I go to Beerfest with. These are the friends that are interested in trying specific beers at Beerfest versus just drinking all of the beers to get smashed (me).

Anyway, my friend Susan asked the waiter, "do you have anything with a licorice flavor to it?"

Waiter:  Yeah...well, we have this #$#% (????) beer which is a light licorice flavor, or the #@%* (???) beer which is a much stronger licorice taste.

Susan:  I really like licorice, I'm gonna go with the heavier tasting one.

Waiter:  Are you sure?  It's really a commitment.

Susan:  Yep.

Ok, so, red flag:  A waiter describing a beer as "a commitment"?  Probably something I would avoid.  (what does that mean omg?!?!?)

So Susan gets the beer.  About half way through, she gives up.  A few minutes after that, she gives the second half of the beer she has rejected to her boyfriend.

WHICH, sparked this conversation.

Could her lack of commitment to her beer mirror her lack of commitment to her relationship?!?!

Ok sure, we were all drunk.  But just go with me here for a minute.

Maybe her lack of committing to the beer is going to rear its ugly head in her relationship!  Maybe the fact that she WANTED to commit to the beer, but just simply couldn't finish it.

And by passing off the excess to her BOYFRIEND?!  The possibilities!

Think about it.  Do you chug your beer without even really tasting it?  Do you slowly sip it?  Do you drink half your beer and then move on to another one because you're super bored with the original beer you chose and then after realizing the new beer is not even that great come crawling back to your original beer because you made the biggest mistake of your life???

If so, you might be saying a lot about yourself in a relationship!  You might also not be, but you also might be, mostly.  Also.

Me?  I'm committed to my beer.  I don't venture out to the crazy beers that I don't know if I'll like because hey, I paid money for them, I'd better frickin' drink them.  I never leave a beer unfinished.

So I guess I know what I like.  And I make my decisions wisely.

Now if I could JUST stop deciding on such douchey guys beers...


  1. Hahaha, I loved the theory! Though the only time I've ever crawled was From a beer, not back to it. Does that make me crafty?

    steve w.

  2. Since you are clearly an expert at beercup reading I need your advice....

    As you know I like my beer strong and hoppy and I always finish ALL of them! What does that mean about my relationships?