Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Basically, I Should Be A Ninja.

I love salespeople as much as the next guy.

Ok, that's a lie.

I HATE salespeople.

Which is ironic, because I actually am one...and have been one since I was 16.


There is nothing I hate more than being approached by a salesperson in any and every situation.

I mean, I know they're only doing their job, but I'm like, "look bitches, if I need your help, I will come find YOU, how's that?"

They're so fucking sneaky too.

I'm usually just minding my own business, shopping for clothes....and out of nowhere I hear:

And I'm like, holy shit I just scanned this whole area and it was totally safe where the FUCK did you come from?!

Maybe there's an underground network of salespeople and they wear heat seeking night vision goggles while wearing an invisibility cloak so they can get all up in your shit and then BAM you never saw it coming, but they're asking you if you need help.

That one question sends me into an uncomfortable panic and I cannot get away from them fast enough.

In reality, I say something awkward like,

"No I'm good, just stealing all your shit thanks."


"I don't know bitch CAN YOU?"


"I hate you and everything you stand for please leave."

But in a perfect world, in these moments I would actually transform into a badass mother fucking ninja.

So they'd be all:

And I'd be all:

And then like:

and they wouldn't even KNOW.

Because I'm a badass mother fucking ninja.

1 comment:

  1. I was greeted with a big smile, kisses and some drinks. Drinks were too good, I must say. She was looking so hot in lingerie. Love you Danna Singh for the immense satisfaction you gave me last night. I found you online at danna.in and it was really a good decision to meet you. You live at such a beautiful place. Love you Danna Singh and thank you danna.in for fixed our meeting in minutes.