Tuesday, March 3, 2015

31 Days

I'm not drinking this month.  What???  I know.  I don’t believe it either.  But you probably won't see me busting out my sweet dance moves or doing karaoke any time this month.  As a disclaimer, I make no iron clad promises and should I fall off the wagon I will make no apologies.  That being said, my goal is to have ZERO alcohols for the month of March.  That last sentence took an hour to type; even my fingers are protesting.  But there I said it.  What started out as my wanting to look good in my next cosplay foray somehow led me here.  How difficult would it be to stop drinking for a month?  Will I notice a difference in my overall health?  How much more productive will I be?  It won't be easy.  The fact that I work in a bar 4 nights a week does not help…nor does the fact that 90% of my friends are pretty big drinkers.  I am not going to stop living my life or going where I normally would go, I'm simply not going to partake.  So here I go into the world of sober nights and mornings without hangovers.  I figured I’d keep a journal of my plight if anyone is interested in following (or laughing :/) along.  I’ll update this daily with how much this sucks or doesn’t suck.  It’s probably going to suck.  A lot.

Day 1:  What have I done?  Went to a friend’s dinner party (who brews beer for a living - Hi Ian!) where they all sampled fine bourbons, wines and beers.  I envied every sip as a single tear made its way down my cheek.  Contemplated giving up on day 1, but realized how unbelievably pathetic that would be.  Also thought about justifying a glass of wine or three with the fact that February is a short month.  Managed to abstain.  I am a hero.

Day 2:  Had a meeting in a bar at 2pm.  No drinks.  Ended up at another at 9 pm.  Ordered a soda water with a lime and just to make it a little less depressing the bartender put it in a wine glass for me.  Left at 10.  I get tired a lot earlier when I’m sober.  This sucks.

Day 3:  Today at dinner my friends took a shot of tequila to commemorate "The Old Morgan."  Sigh.  At least I won't wake up with a hangover.

Day 4:  Hosting trivia without liquor?  It's like, how much more black could this be?  And the answer is none.  None more black.

Day 5:  Tonight my friends drank IPA and the smell was almost enough to make me crack.   I don't even like IPA.  Stayed strong…ish.

Day 6:  Tonight was the hardest night so far.  Ran into a couple of awkward situations that made me want to order a double shot of tequila and a vodka soda and be done with feeling feelings.  I even pulled out cash from the nearest ATM to BUY said alcohols; I did NOT.  However, I did mistakenly take a sip of my friend's vodka soda, which I then promptly spit into a trash can as if I were a pregnant woman with morning sickness (super not, btw).  Hoping my vodka mouthwash will be enough to tide me over for the next…3…weeks.  Someone asked me why I'm even still going to bars during this.  And the only answer I can come up with is that I'm a masochist.

Day 7:  Well guys, I made it a whole week.  I'd like to thank the bartenders who refused to serve me and my friends for shaming me into sticking with it.  I'd also like to thank a certain shit-giving trivia host for making me this 7 day sobriety chip that I will keep until I die or lose it.  Couldn't have done it without you.  Also, had an encounter with a drunk guy that might find it's way into my next Missed Connection.  He liked my bangs.

Day 8:  Today was easier.  To be completely honest, I don't really feel any different physically…or emotionally for that matter.  This means that alcohol is the answer to everything, and I am AVOIDING the answers on PURPOSE.  Is this a metaphor for my life??  Or am I just looking for an excuse to have a beer or ten?  There's really no way of knowing.

Day 9:  Ever dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow and wake up and your pillow is gone?  Me neither.  I sure would love some tequila.

Day 10:  Tonight I closed two new business deals and had to use someone else's drink to cheers my partner…before giving it back.  21 more days….

Day 11:  New deals closed:  1.  Drinks had:  0.  Boyfriends:  Also 0.

Day 12:  Nothing exciting to report other than I still haven't had a drink.  So I will tell you a joke: What do you call a fish with no eye?  A fsh.  Thanks folks I'll be here all month.

Day 13:  Tonight I drank cranberry juice out of a wine glass while my friends shared 5 bottles of wine.  5.  Bottles.


Day 15:  Well, I am officially half way!  I almost drove to Vegas on a whim tonight without the slightest worry that I would crack.  I guess I'm pretty used to being sober in less than sober environments.  Also, everyone has been ridiculously supportive.  2 more weeks until I can drink until I can't feel feelings!

Day 16:  Drove to Vegas.  Didn't drink.  I got this.

Day 17:  Was so exhausted from Vegas drinking wasn't even a thought.  Also, St, Patrick's Day is for amateurs.

Day 18:  The bartender gave me a shot of water with a lime so I could still join in the drinking festivities.  Adorable, I know.

Day 19:  I'm pretty sure my friend and I were solicited for sex at work, but other than that, pretty uneventful night.

Day 20:  I am realizing how boring this must be at this point since there are no exciting updates other than I still haven't had a drink, so if you're still reading, wow thanks.  Here is another joke for you:  Why was 6 afraid of 7?  I'll let you think about it.

Day 21:  3 weeks!!!!

Day 22:  What if I just swish some beer around in my mouth real quick.

Day 23:  I

Day 24:  Am

Day 25:  So

Day 26:  Tired

Day 27:  Of

Day 28:  This

Day 29:  Today was my grandma's birthday.  She passed away in 2010.  I guess I'll have to pour a figurative one out for my homie this year.  Love you grandma.  2 more days!

Day 30:  1 more day to go.  A whole 24 hour to think about what to break my sobriety wi-tequila.

Day 31:  I don't know how, but I made it.  I made it a whole month with no alcohol.  To be completely honest, I did NOT notice a huge difference in my health, and therefore excuse me while I go drink until I can't feel feelings.  Hey, don't judge me.  I did it!

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