Saturday, January 8, 2011

Top 5 Worst Ideas

During my Blog Naming Crisis of 2010/2011, I briefly entertained the notion of doing a blog solely consisting of 'Top 5' posts.  Partly of course as a throwback to my love for High Fidelity, but also because I feel like I could actually successfully make that happen.  I decided against it for fear that I might someday resort to something ridiculous like a 'Top 5 cheeses I like' blog.  But now that is sounding kind of good...Dear Lord did I make a mistake??

See this is what happens, and what has been happening for months.  I am going to post another blog today because this is what originally inspired me to suck it up and pick a name. The Top 5 idea, that is.  The ridiculous thing is that I knew that I would be writing this before I even went out yesterday, because from the beginning it was a horrible, horrible idea.

So here are The Top 5 Worst Ideas I Had Yesterday:

Let me quickly explain that I am extremely sick.  I have some sort of evil cold that causes me to cough uncontrollably and is making my life miserable.  I'm pretty sure I have the plague or at least the black lung.  That being said, I decided it would be a great idea to go out to Disneyland last night until 1 in the morning.  I then asked myself, how can I possibly make this worse? 

5. Leaving My Peacoat in the Car

That's right.  In my presumptuous, sick stupor I decided that I would be fine in my thin leather jacket in the 45 degree weather (sidenote, I am typically cold even in 70 degree weather).  I justified this because I felt ok at the time- a.k.a. the moment I stepped out of the warm car- and had brought along a scarf and gloves.  Oh and P.S., the gloves were fingerless.  Brilliant.  So instead of wearing my J Crew peacoat with Thinsulate lining, I chose my cropped leather jacket that is pretty much the thinnest leather jacket out there.  Let me add that I had 2 chances to put the coat on: 

First, my friends convinced me- yes, I needed to be convinced- to simply bring my peacoat from my car into theirs so I could decide when I got there which one I wanted to wear.  Great friends.  Their advice was more or less lost on me, though I did end up bringing it in their car.  However, once we arrived and it was time to enter the park my faulty reasoning overpowered everything else.  It had to be the leather jacket.  There was nothing else.  "Well if that's the worst decision I make tonight, I guess that's not too bad..."

4. Drinking Alcohol While Suffering from the Plague

You know what a really good idea is when you're sick?  Stay in bed.  Watch movies.  Drink orange juice and convince one of your friends you're sick, but not too sick to let them come take care of you.  You know what a really bad idea is when you're sick?  Everything I did last night.  Especially this next gem.  I didn't just have a beer.  I brought a flask- of vodka.  Not my proudest moment.  And I followed the vodka with a beer.  And dancing.  I think my mentality was that the alcohol would numb me enough to forget that I was sick and have a great time.  Enough said.

3. Deciding to Go Out in the First Place

I will address more about this in number one, but really, it speaks for itself.  How I was able to convince myself this would be a good idea, I don't know.  Lesson learned (maybe).  If I am sick, I should not go drink and dance at Disneyland in a thin jacket.

2. Never Trying a Corn Dog Until Last Night

There are things in this world that do not make sense.  I experienced one of them last night.  Last night, I tried a corn dog for the first time.  Ever.  I don't know how this happened.  I have had a Disneyland pass since I was 18.  I probably go at least a couple times a month.  That's roughly about 450 Disneyland trips, and that's probably even on the stingy side.  How did I never try a corn dog???  I know there are many other life experiences that I might have also tried a corn dog.  But Disneyland has to have one of THE best corn dogs.  And I have been walking past that glorious red cart for all this time.  The severity of this mistake is noted by its rank.  Everything is the fault of my number 1 worst decison.

1. My Job

To be dramatic, my job has ruined my life.  To be realistic, it's kind of annoying and it makes me do weird things.  Allow me to explain. 

I work at a job where I have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.  In other words, that is my weekend.  That being said, I have been known to make comments like, "Today is my Saturday!" and such.  This was all fine until a few months ago at a stand up show when a comedian totally and unknowingly called me out with a bit that said something to the effect of, "What's with these people saying stuff like, 'Today is my Saturday?!?'  How egocentric!  The weekend doesn't revolve around you!"  Owned.  Dang it.  Let's be honest I still say it, but not with confidence.

Because of this weekend predicament, I had to make a choice:  Either don't go out with my friends on the real (yeah that's right, you all get italics because it's not the weekend for ME) weekends because I have to work in the morning, or get over it, go out anyway, and deal with the consequences in the morning-at work.  As a single 26 year old, I chose the latter.

It is this very line of thinking that I believe played into why I thought my mentality (plus positive thinking!) could overcome a cold:  "My job is not going to tell me when and when not to go out and have fun."  Fair enough.  A good idea?  Maybe, maybe not.  Until this happens:  "My cold is not going to tell me when and when not to go out and have fun."  Interjection:  YES, YES IT IS.  That is EXACTLY what it is going to do.  Or at least what it should do..

And that is why my job is ruining my life and my sanity.  And that is why my job is responsible for how I feel today.  And that is why this is my #1 worst idea.  I plan on going home tonight and falling into a Nyquil coma.  Or going to my friend's birthday party at a bar, I haven't decided.

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