Friday, March 4, 2011

Drink Boulder 2010

Last January my friend Laurel and I started visiting our high school friend Susan in Boulder, Colorado. 

This is the story of the most alcohol I have ever consumed in a day.  Arguably.  Well at least until Beerfest.

Laurel and I hadn't really planned the trip out, but we did bring snowboarding clothes and prepared for at least 1 day - of a 3 day trip - of skiing/boarding/something.

Well that never happened.

And here's why.

I'll begin by explaining to those of you who don't already know that I am a textbook lightweight.  That's probably even an understatement.  My boyfriend used to think I was exaggerating, but now he knows: I just get really drunk, really easily.  Generally after a beer and a half, I'm feeling pretty good.

Susan was finishing up school in Colorado and Laurel and I had the morning to ourselves to explore the city.  Per Susan's suggestion, we headed down to Pearl Street.

We walked around and shopped for a bit. 

Now, I love to shop.  Seriously.  LOVE shopping.  Cannot get enough it.  However, on this particular day, none of the shops we perused seemed to be particularly interesting to me, or Laurel for that matter. 

We didn't really know what to do because we still had a few hours to kill before meeting up with Susan.

Until Laurel turned to me:  "Wanna just go get drunk?"

Me:  "YES!"

It was 11:30 A.M.

So we went to our first stop.  It was early, so Laurel got a beer and I (I was still not drinking beer at this point in my life - this has changed) got a vodka orange juice of some sort.  Susan met up with us for drink number 2.

We talked about what to do for the rest of the day.  Susan had a couple of suggestions, but her last suggestion is the one that we ran with:

"...Or we could just keep drinking?"

And thus, Drink Boulder 2010 had begun.  And we proceeded to make it our mission to get completely drunk.

By this point, I'm already drunk.  In all fairness I had had 2 drinks.

After the screwdrivers, Susan took us to a small Mexican restaurant that was known for its really strong margaritas.  Apparently, they only allow you to order 2 drinks per person because they are so strong.  I actually only had 1 at this destination.  And we were on our way.

Drink Count: 3
Types of Alcohol: 2

Apparently, Pearl Street is where many metal animals call home.  So Laurel and I (at Susan's suggestion, of course) decided to get involved.

We posed with every metal animal we could find, gathering confused stares from passers by.

And then we came to the majestic elk:

Yeah, that small round sign says something to the effect of, "Please don't ride the elk."  But we were drunk and obviously didn't care, or read the sign prior to mounting it.

After the animals, we moved on to our next destination, but not before making complete fools of ourselves on the streets and trying to figure out how to get to "Club Nitro," the strip club that we said we would come back for later that night. 

Everything from this point on is pretty hazy, but the next place we went was somewhere where I ordered 2 mojitos.

Here is us after the mojitos.

Drink Count: 5
Types of Alcohol: 3

By this point, it was getting close to the time that Susan had planned for us to go meet up with some of her friends from school for dinner. 

And God bless Pearl Street, because everything was in walking distance.  So we stumbled over to a place called the Med (I think?).

Here we ordered pint glasses of sangria. 

Drink Count: 6
Types of Alcohol: 4

The fact that the elevation was about to set in, and I had already mixed 4 different kinds of alcohol, was nowhere on my mind.

And so at this point, I ventured *by myself* to the bar, because I didn't think I was drunk enough, and wanted to get that way.

So I ordered 2 tequila shots.

And took both of them...

And then took this picture.  (Nooo...I don't look drunk at all....right?)

Drink Count: 8
Types of Alcohol: 5

Let's just say after that I was drunk enough.  But far from finished.

After dinner we ended up at Susan's friend's house in order to charge her phone to meet up with our next group of drinking buddies.

Her friend didn't know we were coming, but lived around the corner.  So when she opened the door to 4 or 5 drunk assholes and said, "Ok, you either want water, or more booze."

Of course, we all said "MORE BOOZE!"

Her and her boyfriend then proceeded to make us drinks called "Corpse Revivers." 

Now if you don't know what those are, and I didn't, I'll just tell you there is gin and absinthe involved.  And I had 2.

Drink Count: 10
Types of Alcohol: 7

I think I'm the only one who looks completely hammered in this picture.  Because I was...completely hammered.  There is an awesome picture somewhere on a cell phone of me passed out in a computer chair in this apartment.

So at this point, you would probably think, "Ok girls, night's over."  (It was probably about 11:30 to give you a time reference.)

But it wasn't over.

Because we actually went to the strip club we had joked about earlier. 

For some reason, I did not drink at this location, but I know my friends did.  And after tipping strippers an absurd amount of one dollar bills, we stumbled out of the strip club.

It was now probably 1 in the morning, and instead of going home, we went to another bar.  Here, I thought it would be funny to see if I could get a guy to buy me a drink (dumb, I know, but I was very drunk). 

It was a great success, and he handed me a shot of something.  I was too drunk at this point to care what it was, so I threw it back. 

...Only to discover that it was Rumplemintz. 100 proof, Rumplemintz.

Drink Count: 11
Types of Alcohol: 8

And goodnight Morgan.

Then the guys that bought me drinks handed me a beer.  Again, at this point in my life I hated beer. 

Hated it.

But I was so drunk that I drank it.  Which is confusing...


Drink Count: 12
Types of Alcohol: 9

So that was it.  We stumbled out of the bar around 2 in the morning.  And then we passed the elk again.  And Susan and I rode it.

And then walked to the car, extremely drunk.

And then she told me to hump this truck, and I did.  Because I was drunk.  And she could have pretty much told me to do anything and I probably would have done it. 

Except eat sushi.  I hate sushi.

Miraculously, none of us got sick.  Laurel passed out with her clothes still on.  And we all woke up the next morning with the worst hang over any of us had ever had.  (Later to be surpassed, for me at least, by Beerfest.)

"We're not going snowboarding."  Is pretty much all I could muster to tell Laurel when she finally woke up.

This was a chalkboard in one of the bathrooms where we decided that we had created a festival, and our goal was to drink all of Boulder.  And that we would make this a tradition of sorts...(this was before the hangover) which we did that September via Beerfest. 

So there will probably be a Beerfest post in the near future, because that was nuts.  Also.

And tonight, Susan is in town.  And her and Laurel and I are going to cause some mischief somewhere.  Woot.

1 comment:

  1. You say, "Laurel passed out with her clothes still on." Does this mean you passed out with clothes missing?